Something I was working on for a long time, but then I read back upon and realized was nothing but complete nonsense. I love when I do that, ask myself rhetorical questions and go back later to mock myself with newly found wisdom. It’s almost as if I need to see it all, written out… the path to my own demise.
My words that I have to get out of this crazy head of mine.
The music that flows through is a constant. You’d think song writing would come easy to me. Never does, and that just frustrates the ever flowing words that have no meaning, that make no sense. The english language doesn’t make sense. It feels hollow and pointless when I’m writing. A lot of years went into studying languages and what drives them. Some make a total mockery of this language, and other take it far too seriously. I make up words, not out of a lack of respect for language, but out of a feeling that some words cannot sum it all up for me. I find myself scouring the thesaurus, the dictionary to find that perfect word, that summation of all irrational and rational thought. And sometimes I find it, but occasionally, I make it up as I go along. That’s called learning.
I don’t always know what I’m talking about, I don’t always feel comfortable and confident the way I portray to the world. But then again, find me a person who legitimately feels comfortable in their own skin 100% of the time, and I’ll find you a liar. Judgement makes liars of us all, in some sense. We’ve all known defeat. We’ve all been hurt.
I have wishes that are rainbows… they disappear shortly after they are seen, shortly after they are said. So I keep my wishes to myself and close to my heart. The minute they are put out there for the world to tear down and tear apart, is the moment my loves in life are gone. Bitter pill to swallow when I want to share the rainbows with everybody… but not everyone stops to take the moment to appreciate them scattered across the sky.
Song of the day: Rainbow Connection
Missing Baltimore hard these days… Solar Pyrography by Henry Herman… photo by me.