Pilgrimage: Poetry

Pilgrimage 

There are experiences in life I wish I’d never had

Picture perfect memories both jubilant and sad

Lived the hazy chaos of both good and bad

Sometimes I see things I wish I could unsee

Sometimes I become things I wish I could un-be

I’ve learned the hard way that nothing is free

There’s a pain I feel within my jaded, hollow soul

Grief and loss have left this jagged, empty hole

The depth and width of which is out of my control

Stuff it with gauze to staunch the heavy bleeding

As personality and sanity persist on receding

A frozen smile stamped in place with the purpose of misleading

Eventually someone will mirror the fake smile

Maybe we’ll sit and talk for a while

And we’ll wear each other’s shoes for a mile

Or maybe I’ll run away anxious and scared

When for such a meeting I am caught unprepared

To let down my guard and let my scars be bared

There is no one way to eviscerate this plight

I have to desire to commit to the fight

And define some elucidation of wrong and right

To rupture the shackles of brokenness and shame

To begrudgingly accept that I’m partly to blame

There are many different ways to play this game

I stumble down the road of healing as I validate

Self confidence remains stuck on hyper vacillate

Showing up for life’s a thing I seem to abdicate

In time I’ll gaze back and take a small amount of pride

In learning what it means to no longer run and hide

As I try to modify what’s on the inside

There’s some hurdle to overcome each and every day

And the emptiness inside tries to have it’s stubborn way

I strive to do the best I can. That’s all that I can say.

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