No Longer Scared Silent: Poetry

No Longer Scared Silent

It didn’t take long for me to learn

Not to speak to you out of turn

Eggshells cut into the bottoms of my feet and

I stayed silent to avoid getting beaten

I always preferred to stay out of your sight

As every encounter became a huge fight

It’s no wonder I found it easy to omit

The words you would have murdered me with

You constantly told me I was a mistake

In a way that was sure to make my heart break

Whenever you’d lose it, you’d lose it on me

Your rage was so blinding, you just couldn’t see

The reasons I could never talk to you

The reasons I could never tell the whole truth

Your pain, your feelings, your thoughts on any matter

Took precedence over my idle, childish chatter

Why didn’t I tell you sooner than that day?

What exactly would you have liked me to say?

Scared silent even though he violated my trust

Holding heavy secrets until I thought I would combust

Was it really a surprise when I couldn’t turn to you?

After all the years of misery that you had put me through

Just for the sheer audacity of being alive

You certainly didn’t give me motivation to survive

When you discovered the skeletons of his destructive plot

Weight jumped off my shoulders as I temporarily forgot

How mean you were, how much of me you hated

I didn’t even consider that I was being baited

I poured out what had happened, words flowing with relief

The more I spoke I noticed your eyes fill with disbelief

I planned to hold that secret until the day I died

Knowing you would blame me, the way I did inside

You harassed me, drilled me, made me change my story

As I looked like a liar and you both retained your glory

After that, I never could look you directly in the eye

And I refused to shed a tear for you, no matter how you tried

So many times, throughout the years, it was drilled into my head

“You’re going to miss your mother, when eventually she’s dead.”

I missed having the mother I needed as a child

Because I’m misguided now and that’s putting it mild

I owe nothing to you and everything to me

To find inside that daughter you beat down so viciously

Now I speak up about the travesties endured

For the first time in my life I feel my interests are secured

Finally I understand the power of my voice

As I write about what happened without giving you a choice

“A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song.”- Maya Angelou

“It took me a long time to develop a voice, and now that I have it, I’m not going to be silent.”- Madeline Albright 

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